When was the last time (if ever) you really stopped and heard what you were saying to yourself? If you haven’t, then I suggest you do it now and really listen to yourself.
If it’s all positive self talk, then you’ve got this.
If it’s mostly negative, then ask yourself, would I say this to my best friend?
A few days ago I had my next blog post all set and ready to go! That is until I realised a small part of it was incorrect! That’s when the sh!t hit the fan!
My Ego went crazy on my butt – you’re so dumb, how did you not see this, what makes you think you can be a blogger, you’re hopeless at this, stick to what you know etc etc.
There is no way in the world I’d speak to my best friend like this! Would you?
I don’t know about you but I am my own worst critic! There isn’t anyone out there that can be harder on me than myself. But I’m my best friend’s cheerleader!
Why can’t we be our own cheerleader as well?
Whether you want to call it your, ego, inner critic, inner voice, internal dialogue, inner coach, inner self talk etc, it’s there. We all know it intimately and we believe what it tells us! For this post, I’m calling it Ego.
The definition of Ego –
noun – a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
psychoanalysis – the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
philosophy – a conscious thinking subject.
Our mind is designed for survival mode – fight or flight! EG: in any situation it’s faced with it asks do I stay and fight (deal with this) or do I flight (run from it)? It’s basically asking – ‘How do I best survive this situation’?
This is a fear based mode. In some instances it serves us very well but to constantly live in this state isn’t great.
If we let it, ego enables us to stay in this little bubble of fear and comfort. Ego can keep us from truly living our best potential by telling us we’re not good enough. I.e – don’t go out there and see what life can offer, stay here with me where it’s easy and you don’t have to try anything. You won’t grow and flourish you’ll just be here in the dark with me.
Our ego can trick us into believing that we are separate from everything and everyone.
To me, this is like living under the dirt. It’s safe no-one can see you and you’re all alone.
Because the sooner you become aware of your ego and it’s negative talk, the sooner you can turn it around.
Each time a negative thought comes into your mind you’ll start to be aware of it and you’ll be able to turn it around quicker.
So when we try new things and stuff up, ego says, ner ner ner ner ner I told you, you couldn’t do it!
You’ll be able to say, ‘Yes we (Ego and Heart working together) can, we’ve got this’, and try again.
We all have one, it’s used to basically pump blood through our bodies. If you put your hand on it right now, hopefully you’ll feel it pumping. Yes that’s the physical sense!
Heart is also associated with love.
The definition of Love –
noun – a strong feeling of affection;
a great interest and pleasure in something.
When was the last time you really felt your heart open? Do you know what opens your heart?
When your heart does open an overwhelming sense of joy, amazement, fulfilment, peace, belief that there’s good in the world, belonging, everything positive seems to beam out of you all at once.
To me, this is like the flower sprouting out of the dirt and flourishing in the bright sunshine.
We make better decisions from this state.
Which state would you like to stay in? No judgement here at all, it’s all choice.
In this instance, ego would say, don’t go out there and flourish because someone could pick you and take you away (all negative). Heart would say, I want to flourish and if someone picks me then I can give them joy. Besides, I’ll keep flourishing (grow more flowers).
Tame the Ego by embracing it with a Love Based Dialogue.
A good friend taught me that fighting with the ego voice will get you nowhere. She taught me that the best way to deal with the ego voice is to reason with it from a love based perspective.
Say – ‘I understand your fear of failing at [insert whatever it is here] but let’s give this a go anyway. This is an opportunity for us to flourish, we’ve got this.
Embrace your ego voice with love, as if you’re speaking to a scared child, encourage them with love.
As soon as you catch your ego talking negatively about you, stop and ask yourself, would I let someone else talk to my [insert name of person you love] like that? If the answer is no, then don’t allow ego to talk to you like that.
For Example –
Ego says, You’re so dumb, how could you miss that? Your blog sucks anyway and you’re an idiot thinking you can do this!!!!
Love Based Dialogue responds, Okay, so you missed an important point in that blog post, no big deal. You realised you did and you’re putting the steps in place to correct it. You’re human, you’re here to learn. So learn the lesson. Keep going.
The more you recognise the ego talk the quicker you can turn it around with Love Based Dialogue.
Tell your ego voice – there is no such thing as failure every experience we have is an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, no matter what it is. This is how we evolve!
We are able to Tame Our Ego by recognising our ego based thoughts and responding to it with Love Based Dialogue. i.e. it’s not that scary if we do this together.
What does your Ego voice tell you? What state have you chosen to stay in? Have you tried Love Based Dialogue.
Billy and I would love to hear from you! Drop us a line, write us a comment, come say hi!
J & B
Woofalicious Tales xoxo